‘Insecure’ Recap, Season 5, Episode 8: Fears and Desires
Season 5, Episode 8, ‘Choices, Okay!?’
Let’s talk about dreams, a popular subject of poems, songs, books and plays. In life, they can give us something to strive for; in drama, they’re a useful way to illustrate a character’s hopes and fears.
In this episode, Issa has a series of dreams — or possibly nightmares — and they all come up Lawrence. “Choices, Okay!?” is more about the dreams that Issa has not chased down and brought to life than about the ones that she has managed to reach.
This episode starts with Issa and Nathan splayed around Issa’s loved-in bedroom. Issa is thinking about squirrels until she remembers that her friend Tiffany might be moving away. She does a lot of daydreaming in this episode. After a quip or two, Nathan gets up and heads to the bathroom to take what appears to be medication, a welcome sign that he is staying dedicated to his health and well-being.
The couple is clearly getting along — it seems Nathan was able to show up for Issa in the way she wanted. She’s wearing his T-shirt around her house and he says he loves making her coffee, and then he asks Issa if they should move in together.
“Wow, do you think we’re ready for that?” she replies, looking somewhat stunned.
“I don’t know, maybe,” he responds with a shrug. “It will save us some money.”
Then they put a pin in the conversation and move on.
Initially, Issa’s professional life appears to be blossoming along with her romantic one. In a dreamlike sequence, she is offered what seems like a high number to partner with MBW. She puts on a show at the Miracle Theater in Los Angeles and expertly walks her sponsors through the process — she is in charge, she knows her talking points and has her bases covered and then some. Then it appears we move forward in the timeline and she is on a panel being interviewed by Elaine Welteroth; it looks like our girl has professionally leveled up.
Suddenly, she’s wearing a fly suit in first-class, sitting next to Ty Dollar $ign, who is on his way to Los Angeles to work with Crenshawn. Then Issa arrives at home. Nathan is at the house and the house is beautiful, that’s when I knew she was daydreaming. It might be when she figured it out, too — she kind of snaps out of it and asks Nathan when they moved to that apartment.
At this point, the episode dedicated some time to Kelli, who was helping Molly’s parents with their estate planning, so I want to do the same. What would “Insecure” be without her? She is always on time, unabashed, constantly pushing the girls to take better care of themselves. She will DM Daniel Kaluuya and then say he DM’d her first, because why not? She is like a human confetti popper of joy and hilarious rage. (This week she told Issa’s brother, Ahmal, that she was going to write a TV show about him just so she could kill him off.) When she is helping Molly’s parents, she eases the tension with her on-point witticism and jokes. We all need a Kelli.
Issa’s second daydream of the episode was both more aspirational and more fraught. In this one, she partners up with Crenshawn, who apologizes for his behavior on social media, and opens up two locations with him. She is known and loved in the community and plays spades with the ice cream man on Sundays. (Glad to hear that she finally learned how.) Ty Dollar $ign partners up with MBW instead, and promotes water on bus ads.
Issa, on the other hand, receives the key to Inglewood from Tyra Banks — we all want to receive something from Tyra after watching her pass out headshots on “America’s Next Top Model” for years, I get it — and has a day named after her. At the end of this dream, she goes home and Nathan walks out to greet her. But then when he walks into a different room, Lawrence is who comes back out.
“I’m proud of you,” he says to her. “You had a lot of options but you made a choice that made you happy, and now you’re being rewarded for it.”
He goes in for a kiss and Issa screams.
Issa has it bad — even when she’s daydreaming about what her life could become, Lawrence is still in play. Toward the end of the episode, she’s having dinner with Nathan at her place and he goes in the next room. When he says that he wants her to be happy, Issa hears Lawrence’s voice and braces herself for him to walk out of the room, but Nathan walks out instead. Did she look a little disappointed?
In Issa’s real life, Nathan is her boyfriend and that’s who is in her house. Her dreams are turning into nightmares; is that what happens to dreams deferred? Will Issa try to turn her dream — ending up with Lawrence, it seems — into reality, no matter how misguided that move might be? Or will her actual reality be enough for her?
